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By Kiran, March 27, 2009 4:57 pm

Found these while trolling the web today; had to save them – good for a laugh some other day

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By Kiran, March 26, 2009 11:09 pm

Every day is a blur, every day is another churn of the machine, every day is another fleeting memory, everyday is another sad story. I recently befriended a girl and almost instantly envied her because she seemed to derive happiness from the smallest and most trivial things that most of us so nonchalantly wave away. She spoke with great enthusiasm about her upcoming trip – how she would would be able see the skyline from a short haul flight, that she would enjoy the meal they would serve in the flight, how her aunt would be so happy to get a handbag she bought her, and the joy she would get from seeing her. I think back to my last trip, and I can not even recollect what the flight was like, what I saw out of the window, and what gifts I took with me; all that time I was thinking about what great adventure I would embark at the destination.

Why do so many of us always need a brand new quest or a never-seen-before sight to feel a measure of happiness and a sense of accomplishment? I know why I can’t fully enjoy the little things of everyday life – because it irks me that today’s small deeds will be forgotten tomorrow, and if they are not worth remembering, then what pleasure is there in relishing them in the first place. Maybe that is why we look forward to those big parties, those road trips, the blockbuster movies, the fancy restaurants and the grand vacations. Of course all of those are well deserved escapes from everyday boredom, but what about everything else we in the rest of our waking hours. Do those things not matter? Do everyday things make no difference? Maybe if we all recollected at the end of each day what we enjoyed or derived an iota of happiness from, it could potentially alter how we perceive the next day to be. Each night, are we looking forward to the next day and things we might do and the smiles we might create, or are we dreading another twenty four hours of monotony.

So I ask myself, did I enjoy something I did today or do is there anything that gave me a little happiness, and the answer to my surprise is a resounding yes. I was overjoyed to complete a relatively small task that has been on my list for three days, I made my boss laugh at a joke, I spent a very entertaining hour with a colleage at the gym talking about random things, I busted a move at least three times while listening to delhi 6 soundtrack at work, I absolutely enjoyed snacking all day on the goodies that I bought for the rest of my team, I made jokes with at least three of my colleagues, and I am thoroughly enjoying a glass of sangria right now after a long day while chatting with a good friend. Suddenly tomorrow doesn’t sound bad, maybe there will be similar opportunities, maybe there will be more jokes to be made, maybe there will excitement from completing another task, maybe I will eat that tasty burrito from that shabby mexican place around the corner, maybe I will will play some some music without mistakes, maybe I will cook something for a change.

Yes, the things we do are not always grandiose and the things we talk about are not always fun, but maybe if we tried a little harder there might a hint of zest hidden between the layers of daily rut, and maybe there will be a day when we can all look forward to the next day without having to recollect the last to reinforce our optmism. Maybe.

For the rest of you, no, the answer to a little happiness everyday is not called marijuana.

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By Kiran, March 16, 2009 6:05 pm

What a blast from the past. FASB is finally issuing new guidance about market-to-market accounting rules after much finger pointing from both the Congress and the Wall St wonks. Almost a year ago, there was a big furor by Blackstone’s Schwartzman about the potential dangers of FAS 157 and the blogosphere debated about it pretty extensively. A recap – FAS 157 forces companies to value their assets to the price the market is willing to pay and not the actual cash flows that are generated by the asset. So if you hold a complex derivative product which has a intrinsic value of $100, but the market is willing to pay only $10, you take a $90 loss. So a mortgage backed security which is not subprime could be sound fundamentally but because the market is wary of these securities, you have to mark them down on your balance sheet. I did a presentation last year (link below) on how companies could benefit themselves by using a loophole in market-to-market valuation. I don’t pretend to be an oracle on financial matters, but I do remember sending a pretty clear message to my class that fair-value will burn most balance sheets as the market cools down.

While most of the financial industry is mad at FASB for FAS 157, do remember that it is not mandatory. What everyone forgets is that back in the heyday when all was good and valuations were sky high, most of the firms chose mark-to-market because they could mark up their assets and create income from thin air. When the market is suddenly illiquid, the same hawks are trying to blame the accounting rule. When securities are based on complex models and are comprised of diverse securities, it is almost impossible to factor all the risks comprehensively; yes, they can calculate alphas, betas, gammas and thetas, but how do you model the risk of illiquidity. These securities should never have been classified as mark-to-market in the first place. At this time, because of the immense illiquidity in the market, a relaxation of the 157 might be justified, but I am wary as to whether this will set a precedent for further opacity in asset valuations. Unfortunately there is no middle ground and FASB should not be the one to blame; the rule as it is, is more than fair even if not precise in its guidance.

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By Kiran, March 8, 2009 11:07 pm

is now stuck in my head. The seven basic notes of classical music are the 101 of all basic music learning, yet I have never heard of them till last week when I was asked to memorize them till I could sing every song in these syllables. The first thing that came to my mind was Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Da Ni, the Indian counterparts which I have heard more than often yet underestimated their importance.  Two other new words that I encountered – “Solmization” is the attribution of a distinct syllable to each musical notes, and “Solfege” is a solmization technique used to teach sight reading of music in which each note is sung to a special syllable called solfege syllable.

Interesting historical evidence from Wikipedia on the origin of this system:

In the eleventh century, the music theorist Guido of Arrezo developed a six-note ascending scale that went as follows: ut, re, mi, fa, sol, and la. A seventh note, “si” was added shortly after. The notes were taken from the first verse of a Latin hymn below (where the sounds fell on the scale), and later “ut” and “sol” were changed to flow with the other notes, while “si” was changed to “ti” to avoid confusion with “sol”.

Ut queant laxis resonāre fibris
Mira gestorum famuli tuorum,
Solve polluti labii reatum,
Sancte Iohannes.

Going back to the Indian notes, or swaras as they are called, the seven notes are actually derivatives of shadja, rishabh, gandhar, madhyam, pancham, dhaivat and nishad. Interestingly, these swaras are believed to have originated from the sounds different animals, and some have additional meanings of their own. The association with animals is as follows: Sa (meaning Sagar) – Peacock, Re (Bull) – Bull, Ga (Gagan) – Goat, Ma (Middle) – Dove, Pa (Fifth) – Cuckoo, Dha (Dharti) – Horse, and Ni (Outcast) – Elephant. Unfortunately, I am unable to find better reading material related to the origin of these swaras, but I am sure there are references in most sacred Indian texts.

Isn’t it uncanny that two different systems of music that originated centuries ago in separate continents were developed with almost the same kind of notation. Maybe music historians have better empirical detail on their origins, but it makes me wonder if this similarity is causal or coincidental. Maybe there is a common underlying mathematical foundation that guided the early musicians in developing these swaras and solfege syllables alike, or maybe there was a transitional culture that influenced both the aryan and germanic ones. Sometimes, these basic constructs that we so easily take for granted have such a rich and complex history spanning centuries and thousands of influences, that we have to but feel belittled by their enormity. I can’t help thinking that one day there will be a “Da Vinci Code”-like revelation about this coincidence.

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By Kiran, March 4, 2009 11:45 am

A couple of decades ago, public health officials noted an increasing and alarming phenomenon. Smart people who had spent a lot of time with stupid people were turning stupid. Permanently. This was seen as a significant problem.

Investigation revealed that stupid people emit a small, lightweight particle that travels in irregular motions like a fly buzzing around a room. These particles were called bozons (hence the origin of the word bozo to describe stupid people). These particles penetrated the skulls of smart people, turning them stupid.

Bozons

Sometimes a smart person knows that they are in the presence of a stupid person and hence is at risk. Other times a smart person may not know that a person is stupid (e.g., standing next to a person on a subway) and does not know that their IQ is plummeting with each second.

To protect intelligent people, a bozon detector was developed. This detector provides an audible alarm if someone is standing next to a stupid person. The alarm sound indicates the density of the bozons being emitted. Early versions of the detector were cumbersome, requiring the placement of the detector paddle on the forehead of the suspected stupid person.

Early Bozon Detector, circa 1982

More recent versions of detectors have been developed that can be installed as a software a plug-in for cell phones. This enables one to discreetly sweep the room to detect bozons. Currently plug-ins can detect a bozo at 100 feet.

There are situations in which a smart person has no choice but to spend hours of time in the presence of stupid people. This situation can regularly occur in management meetings.

To protect smart people, the bozon deflector was developed. These deflectors shield a smart person’s skull and absorb bozons. Early deflectors were not stylish and led to difficult conversations, i.e. “Why are you wearing that helmet?” Answer: “To ensure that you don’t make me as stupid as you are.”

Early Bozon Deflector, circa 1983

More recent versions are less obtrusive and provide a protective electromagnetic shield around the head. You can see a modern deflector below.

For many people, the damage has been done. I am one of them. Years of having been exposed to stupid people have left me with a diminished capacity to remember names, location of car keys, and the reason I called a meeting.

However, young or old, it is not too late to protect yourself. You owe it yourself, your family, your organization, and this industry.